Monday, March 17, 2008

Sappy Sloth

That's about the extent of my existence today. I've been a slacker mom and a slacker wife since I walked in the door after work. I actually got a decent nights sleep last night- 11:30pm to 7am, and I was more tired than ever at work. I got home and Ry made dinner (hot dogs and brats on the grill) and after that I just crashed... my mood and energy and emotions went downhill. I sat on the couch most of the evening feeling sorry for myself and trying to fight back tears of frustration and whatever else emotion my psychotic pregnancy brain was feeling. Ryan was awesome and entertained Porter all night while I sat and stared across the living room like a zombie. I did manage to hobble into P's bedroom to watch them put together puzzles and train tracks, but still the extent of my involvement was watching from the lying position in P's bed, peeking through the mesh on his bedrail.

Here's my "woe is me" list
  • My hip hurts. My right hip- same as with Porter. Painful to bend over, walk etc. Great stuff
  • Inner thighs feel like I've done a zillion leg lifts or whatever... it is painful and slow to get moving after sitting for even a short period of time
  • Its getting hard to breath, my lungs and insides feel crunched
  • I'm sick of feeling achy muscle pulls throughout my abdomen from everything stretching, or from moving weird and crunching Hudson beneath my ribs etc...
  • My boobs are disgusting and I hate looking in the mirror. Doesn't help that I have to pee a zillion times a day and, oh gee... what is in front of ever freaking sink when I wash my hands? A nice mirror to highlight my humongous boobs that happen to each be the size of my head.
  • Speaking of pee... I pee all the freaking time. About once an hour. Thank God I have a bathroom in my room at school. I'm sure the two other teachers that split the room with me wonder if they'll ever hear an hour without that damn toilet flushing.
  • Hudson seems to find these wonderful positions to lay in and trap my intestines or whatever... and I end up feeling gassy and crampy and bloated and super uncomfortable. I wake up at least once a night in pain because I feel like my intestines are all bloated.
  • I feel acidy and puke up the back of my throat after almost every meal. Hot dog acid is not fun tasting.
  • We need groceries and have nothing good (aka... fatty) to eat. I want ice cream. It'll be so great with my acidy stomach. I wish McDonalds delivered- I'd order a Shamrock Shake.
I know, I know... I should shut my mouth and be thankful I'm pregnant. I am, really, but I'm just having such a blue day and I'm feeling like this is never going to end and its stressing me out that I'm already having downer days and I still have 9 weeks to go. I just can't wait to be able to MOVE normally- to bend over and pick my fucking shoes off the floor and put them on my feet without physically lifting my foot and craning it back to lean on my knee. To pick up Porter without feeling out of breath. To get off the couch and it not feel like an olympic event. Yes... I realize... I still have freaking 9 weeks to go. That's what scares me.

So, anyhow... I guess I should have posted this on over on the baby's website but then I felt bad sounding like a wench in his pregnancy journal. Therefore, it shall be posted here. And now I'm off to attempt to find something to make me happy for an hour or two before bed.


  1. you don't sound like a wench - you sound like you have a baby that is doing his best to make you uncomfortable! little stinker!

    don't feel bad for taking it easy - you are pregnant girl! i hope hudson gives you a break soon - or you get some ice cream - whatever comes first! :)

  2. Hey! I have been keeping up with your blog lately and wanted to let you know that I am terribly uncomfortable too right now. :( I had a similar night to yours last night. I seriously laid on the couch and felt sorry for myself. I don't have hip issues though, but rib issues. I want to know who all those women are that say they LOVE being pregnant. They must be lying.

  3. I hope you are feeling better soon....hopefully Hudson will give you a break AND you will get some yummy ice cream!

    I also wanted to say that I really appreciate your honesty. You give the truth, not a sugar coated version. Having kids is a few years down the road for us, but I definately want to really know what I am in for. However, I truthfully wish you were having to go through all this!

  4. I was aha'ing and me too'ing your entire post. I believed that if I purchased $50 in hair supply this weekend that I would feel better about the bigger everything that is my body - if my hair looked great - as it turns out this is no longer my hair and does not respond to product - expensive or not.

    I think it's entirely possible to be equal parts miserable and grateful at the same time...even if Oprah doesn't think so.

  5. Hang in there! Is there anything you can take for the acid reflux?

  6. Hi Nicole, Just wanted to send some encouragement your way. The lovely trimester is upon you! Remember this too shall pass and when you have that wonderful little guy in your arms you won't remember the "ugly crappy days". I realize you know that, just don't forget that sometimes it's OK not to be super woman! Enjoy your time on the couch and just take a deep breath and relax! One last thing... have you thought about going for a prenatal massage to help with your hip... I can't remember if you did that with P's pregnancy. If you need a name of someone I know someone who is VERY highly recommened in prenatal massage and she is INCREDIBLE!

  7. Hang in there. We all have those pregnancy days. It will all be worth it in the end. Besides, no one ever said pregnancy was easy. Hope you have a better day! :o)