Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Turn Around

Today has been a rotten day.

  • I'm running out of shirts to wear to work. Even more of a reason to stop working early...
  • My grandma is in the hospital and had complications with arteries
  • My mother in law is in the hospital with cardiac problems
  • I'm feeling a little regretful for opening my big mouth in a situation that maybe I shouldn't have (although it really felt good to get out some honest to goodness true feelings)
  • I'm feeling hurt about a friendship that I've recently found out some not so good things about. Wishing I both did and didn't know now what I do.
  • I'm feeling down about myself for being so negative during this pregnancy, for forgetting to look on the positive side of things and always focusing on the negative.
  • I'm feeling sad that our life has become so chaotic and crammed with school and work and other things that my husband and I have lost connection with each other. And that I've lost the ability to see the great things in him.
  • I'm feeling a bit of rage towards people who just don't learn... who will never "get it."

    I'm making a plan to change things. To turn things around. To be more positive. To let go of "toxic" relationships that are bringing out the worst in me. To focus on the good. To try to communicate better. To not air my dirty laundry. To learn when to keep my mouth shut and when less is more.

    Wish me luck.


  1. But dirty laundry is one of the BEST PARTS of blogs!

  2. it's really easy to let the negative eat at you. hope tomorrow is a better day for you, nicole.

  3. Good for you. Sometimes it's hard not to get wrapped up in the negative. Believe me, I did it plenty when I was preggo. I also realized that I needed help (anti-depressants) and they made a world of difference. I think being pregnant is a hard time in a woman's life, especially the end.

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandma and MIL. I hope they pull through.

    Good luck with all of this.

  4. Ugh, I hear you - on all of it.

    And OF COURSE you need to leave work a few weeks early - I can't even imagine working now. How women work past 36 weeks is beyond me, I'm freaking wiped out just trying to get my house in order.

    I'm going to go email you about the rest right now...

  5. Here's a big fat internet blog hug!

    What you call 'negativity' makes me feel 'normal' for a few minutes out of my day. So thanks! But I do understand wanting to be more discrete and airing the positive things too. I keep trying and it doesn't work. Just remember that the 'not-so-positive' stuff needs a way out, so if its not the blog, make sure it gets out somehow. If you ever need an ear, mine are yours for the yapping! Just don't be surprised if I return the favor (I just don't have the hormones to blame, darn it). BIG HUGS TO YOU!

  6. I know, I know... I feel the same way. And I know that I have to, or I'm the only person who's going to be miserable. Nobody else.
    So, I might have to call that post: MY FINAL VENT?
    Not that I know "exactly" what you are talking about in this post (maybe a little bit though), I wish you the best and you know that you are doing the RIGHT thing. Good job....

  7. Im hoping today is a slightly better day for you.. Good talking with you!

  8. I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking, but venting is good for the soul sometimes, too. One thing I've noticed is that I have really started to seek out positive people as friends. In this stressful, crazy life, having positive people with a good sense of humor around, is a definate plus!