Monday, September 15, 2008

Filling Time

Thank you for all the kind words, comments, offers and support. We've received an abundance of support from family, friends, strangers and the like. I am amazed at how many people come out of the woodwork and are there for you in a time of need.

I haven't had time, or moreso- energy- to respond to all these comments and emails. Thank you, each and every one of you.

I think everyone is doing as well as can be expected- considering. I've been keeping busy with meaningless tasks.... I work today and tomorrow (which makes me feel a bit cold and heartless... however, I don't get any paid time off and we have bills to pay. And, I feel better just keeping routine and not dwelling on the situation). I have been trying to keep up with client requests and getting ready for the upcoming holiday season (cards, sessions etc). Keeping the idle minutes filled is easier than sitting and dwelling and thinking and feeling.

Ryan is holding up- I'm in pain for him, but he's strong and he's trying to be there for his dad. Everyone else, well, I can't really speak for them. I know this week is going to be filled with organizing things for the funeral on Saturday and other things... its the weeks and months following that I know are going to prove to be challenging. Its the moments where we should all be together that are going to be the worst.

We've lost a key component to our family. Its going to take time to rearrange and restructure.

Anyhow... I told myself I'd get to bed early tonight. I was exhausted at work. Not sure if its from lack of sleep or just from being emotionally drained. One more day of work.


  1. continuing to pray for you and your whole family. I can't imagine what you are going through. Be real with yourself-- let yourself grieve at your natural pace-- it will be long and hard. We are all thinking of you!

  2. Hang in there Nicole. Don't be a total martyr, you need to grieve too.
    Thinking of you all.

  3. Hang in there. I hope you're able to refocus for a little while so that you can be strong for the funeral, Ryan and the kids etc.

  4. Hang in there Sweetie! But remember moms are aloud to cry too. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom or closet.

    I'm thinking about you, Ryan and your boys!

  5. Nicole... omg, I just read your blog for the first time in weeks....

    I'm so sorry to hear this news! My heart goes out to you and your family.

    It seems like you are doing all the right things, but I'll still pray for you!

  6. Please know that I am thinking of you and Ryan and sending prayers your way.

  7. i can't even imagine how hard this is for all of you. i'm glad to hear there are many people there to support you guys through this. hang in there.

  8. Oh my God Nicole! I just got back and am slightly caught up. I am so sorry for your family's loss. What a terrible, terrible thing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

  9. i hope ryan has time to grieve and not feel he has to just be strong. for you both, the strength to deal with this tragedy. take care!