Friday, April 3, 2009

In my head

  • My house.... Dirty. Messy. Disorganized. We've been here for almost 9 months (wow... that long already?) and the "lived in" clutter is starting to show. Its time to go through cabinets and drawers and closets and organized and declutter. Being gone the past 2 weekends hasn't helped.... I feel like we're living in disarray right now.

  • Yesterday I bought Porter his first real pair of nice tennis shoes. When he was one I had bought him a cheap $5 pair from Payless. For his 2nd Christmas he got a cheap pair from Target. They both had that stiff as boards sole. I found a great deal on these Saucony running shoes for him at the outlets yesterday. They're so flexible and look so comfy. My next pair of tennies.... they'll be Saucony. I typically have always bought New Balance as they fit my feet nicely. However, I'm now really wanting these for myself.

  • The main reason for wanting/needing tennis shoes for Porter (as he really doesn't wear them often.... winter he wears a halfway "trendy" Vans knock off and summer he sports flip flops 99% of the time) is that we're signing him up for a 3 and 4 year old soccer team in May. I think it'll be hilarious.... they have one practice a week and one game a week. Can't imagine what a game will look like with a bunch of preschoolers, but I am guessing it'll be hilarious.

  • Monday Porter starts swimming lessons. He's old enough to do the non-parent involved lessons- the nitty gritty... not just playing in the water type of lessons, so I thought it would be good to get him into that. He's starting out in the Pike class, and Lukas will be in there with him.

  • Why does the gums under my tooth hurt?
  • Need to get back into a routine with these things: running, church, photography, scrapbooking, oh and paying bills.
  • I got a new prescrip from the doc for my anxiety/crazy-mom pills... switching from Paxil to Zoloft. I had my annual girly appointment today and talked with the midwife about them. I told her I've tried going off them as I often feel ashamed that I have to rely on a pill to be happy- to be a good mom. But, I've found that I can't. Not only do I notice when I haven't had my meds, but co-workers and my husband do as well. Her comment "There's nothing wrong with it... there's only so much time and so much room on your plate..." made me feel better.
  • I have lots of ideas floating in my head on the photography front. Changes in price b/c of the economy.... changes in how you buy prints (aka... I'm going to try out cd's!).... new logo... new packages etc.... but... while those things are all great ideas, I just need the time and focus to sit down and get them going.

  • I'm pretty sure I won't have my job at the school next year. The rumor has become pretty blatant that with all the budget cuts they'll be eliminating my position. I am hoping to get in full time in another district (that I'm supposedly on the "to be hired" list... had an interview, they were impressed, they want me but are waiting for a position that I'm qualified for)... but if that doesn't pan out, I will have to do something. I guess I should get things in order with my business in case I need to do some ass busting to actually pay bills with that income rather than use it as fun/emergency money.

  • I found a photographer I just looove and am really inspired to convert our apartment into a studio. Her newborn pics are amazing and I would love to have clients come to me sometimes rather than me always going to them. Especially those clients who have minimal natural light. So.... some new changes might be coming this summer in that aspect. Maybe. I still hate to put money into the apartment (new flooring- wood!, painting walls etc...) when I know sometime in the next 5 years or so we want to demo the entire apartment to make it our master bedroom suite.
  • I want some new photography equipment... this and this specifically.
So many things... so little time.


  1. Preschoolers playing soccer sounds way too cute! I hope he enjoys it!

    And good for you on the Zoloft - I too sometimes get down about the fact that I need medication to be the person I want to be, but the alternative is so unfair to my husband and kids - they deserve a wife and mom who is present and involved.

  2. why not go all out & get the 5d MKII? *DROOL* lol

    Good luck on the job front! That's too bad to hear about your current position. But hopefully it all pans out and there's something good in store. Ohhh and I used to be on Paxil. For me, it totally flatlined my emotions & it seemed like I wasn't able to feel anything - even happiness. I liked Zoloft a lot better - I hope it works well for you :)

  3. did you go shopping tonight?

    that photographer does awesome work and i think that you should get into using props. i would totally hire you. hahahaha. :)

  4. Oh I love the work of that photographer!!! and the way she props those heads up when they are sleeping! Sooo cute!! I also love the hanging cloth that they sit in. Your apt. could totally be turned into a great studio. I dont think it would really cost u much, and u could use it as a right off too, right? ;)

  5. I love this post. It is so open and honest. I too started CDing about three months ago since we are expecting baby number 3 in less than four years. I love it. I only do it four days a week right now mainly with my 20 month old as I am still trying to potty train my three year old. It has sort of becoming addicting to me. We are gearing up to CD this new little one to come this summer. If you would like to know what I have learned so far and a few good websites email me (

  6. I think you will like Zooloft a lot better, it is a really good drug. You should feel proud that you are such a good mom that you are willing to ask for some help to be the best you can be for your kids. I think it is very brave.

    I am going to email you an Etsy shop I found for photogs. You will love it.

  7. Drugs are OK! Take em if you need em. Us moms sometimes need more help and that is just fine! You should be proud that you are strong enough to address it!

    I have the 85mm and when I read the post last night I was all ready to sell it to you. I got it in January and have rarely used it. I used it on a session today and am a new woman! Sorry I can't give it up now!

  8. I'm on Paxil too. All the cool people are doing it. :) It makes me way more calm. Just wondering why you switched to Zoloft? Is it supposed to be better?