Monday, June 22, 2009

Jon and Kate + 8... Deflate

I would be lying to say I was not devastated by the news that Jon and Kate are divorcing. I am baffled and sad and sick to my stomach. Weird, I know. I don't know these people other than from watching them on TV. But... I've watched them from the beginning and have always loved their "realness". I've always been able to relate somewhat (ok, a lot) to Kate. She's a take-charge kinda gal and Jon is just really laid back, takes no initiative.

Here are some of my thoughts... they'll probably be random but I swear, after the season premeire on May 25th I kid you not I spent the entire next day thinking about them. Thinking about how tense they were towards eachother. How sad it was that their marraige had come to this.

Team Jon or Team Kate? Well, I used to really like them both. Some would say she's a bossy wench and he has no balls and that (in old episodes) they had no love or respect for eachother. I, however, always felt that they had a comfortableness, sureness about their relationship and I related to that. Anyone close to Ryan and I know that I can be a bossy bitch and that Ryan takes a lot of crap from me. He's nowhere near as laid back as Jon and will stand up for himself and toss my bickering right back at me but we're comfortable enough with eachother and we love eachother enough that we know that whatever is said is blowing steam, in the heat of the moment and we're done and over it not long after. Water under the bridge. I used to really think Jon and Kate had that comfortableness with eachother but obviously Jon wasn't happy with how things were. And from what I've seen on their recent episodes, he's decided this life isn't what he wants so he's going to make a fresh start. After all, he's "only 32" and he's "sad but excited about the fresh start." Gag.

I'm all Team Kate, can you tell?

Here are some of my random thoughts on all this. My "reasonsings" for things that are being said, speculations that are being made. Obviously I really don't know jack about what is going on inside their relationship, this is all just my thoughts and opinions on what I've seen/been shown on TLC.

  • Everyone says Kate has changed so much... she has a new hairdo, a tan, a rockin bod and great fashion. So what. Yes, she does. She's finally beyond the "survival" mode of having 6 babies in her house and is finally able to give herself a little attention. And speaking of changes... look at Jon.... earrings, driving a $40,000 2-seater sports car, hanging out with women at bars, wearing teenage looking clothes. They both have changed... how can you point your finger at either?!
  • I hear flack about how the show was the demise of their relationship. I don't think I could believe that if this were true they would honestly keep the show going. Yes, it makes them a ton of money but I think they are both out for the best interest of their kids (when it comes down to it) and if that were the case I believe they would stop the show if that would save their marriage.
  • The show obviously isn't the issue as they are still divorcing and are still moving forward with the show. They will just be filmed with the kids separately.
  • Jon complains that he doesn't like being on the show... doesn't like the spotlight etc. He sure doesn't seem to be complaining about his new wardrobe, his new sportscar and custom OCC bike. Remember, Jon, you wouldn't have all this stuff if it wasn't for your kids... or your show.
  • On Kate and her bossiness.... from what I've seen Jon is very... sluglike. He doesn't seem to take initiative to do anything unless he's told. And with 8 kids in the house (I guess you could say 9 if you count him?), things have to be orderly and luckily Kate is very orderly. You can't always be sweet and cordial when things need to get done PRONTO with 8 kids. Hell... I only have 2 kids and I can get pretty snippy (as can Ryan!) when we're under pressure/rushed/stressed etc. I can't imagine if we had 6 more kids to deal with!
  • I don't understand how things could go so downhill in such a short time. They JUST renewed their vows in Hawaii in August 2008. And now, just 10 months later (less, if you count that the filming happened before Mother's Day..) they are divorcing.
  • In the season premeire Jon was whining that Kate was gone a lot on her book tours and that he was home with the kids since he didn't work. And that he didn't like his "job" of being a stay at home dad. Tough shit. How many years did Kate stay home with 8 kids... 6 being infants/toddlers? The HARD ages? And he's complaining that he has to play daddy all day while Kate makes money now?
  • This recent episode Kate mentioned Jon won't talk to her or tell her why he is so angry at her. Jon dances around any mention of exactly why they are divoricing. Kate says she is not thrilled with the decision but she supports it if it brings peace to the house and for the kids. All that makes me feel like it is Jon who is wanting the divorce... that Jon wants out.
  • Jon seemed so insincere when he'd quickly toss in "for the kids" at the end of every statement that's seemingly selfish.. I just need to do what's best........ for the kids!" All the while, he's totally zoned out visualizing the lap dances he's going to be getting in New York at his bachelor pad at Trump Tower.
  • Have they not explored marriage counseling? I've never heard anything mentioned about that.
  • A previous episode awhile ago showed Jon and Kate in their early years. They were so lovey dovey. And when they met... Jon was 22 and Kate was 23 (I think).... Jon said so himself, on camera, that he wasn't doing anything with his life. He was just bumming around... didn't want to get married... didn't want to have kids etc... So then he met Kate, they got married and seeked fertility treatments. Ok, you don't do that all on your own. He had to have had his say in it.
I honestly believe that all this, all Jon's actions, are because he wants to be that 22 year old again. He is thinking "I'm 32... have 8 kids.... my life is boring." Haven't we all felt that way at some point or another? Haven't we all, as parents, fantasized what life would be like if we were living single and free? Its one thing to think about it but another to act on it.

I won't lie. My stomach had knots in it when I read that they filed papers to dissolve their marriage. I even shed a few tears. Its incredibly sad to see all that they've gone through... to see them barely acknowledge eachother now... I just wanted them to hold hands and kiss and make up. Kate had said that she doesn't know what Jon wants... she doesn't know if he even knows. She doesn't know if he realizes the repercussions of his actions right now.

I may be naieve to point the finger at him, but I am. I'm just thinking to myself... who would want to be with him now... sure, he has money... his KIDS money. He has EIGHT kids. Seriously? That's serious baggage. I hope that he will realize what he's doing, what they are doing, and they will seek help and work things out.

GAH. How's that for a vent? And its not even my life!!


  1. thats a good vent. hahahaha.

    i am w/you. i know kate is a little bossy, but she has had to be to have some order in a house full of kids.

    i am sad to see that they are splitting. how in the heck are they possibly going to even do this? Like, will Jon move out and buy sets of 8 or will they share an apartment and switch off and on? I dont get it. Its not like one or two kids...its a lot!

    i am on kates side in this whole mess and i am sad just like you. i was in tears when they were showing footage at the end from when they kids were little. everyone looked so happy.

  2. It def is crazy! And what is he so "mad" about??? Its his fault they are in this mess! I think the fame really was the demise though....I mean look at him...he isnt exactly a hot item (i mean, he isnt bad..but come on)...if they werent on a highly rated show on TV, girls would not even want to hang out with him, and especially after he threw the out the "I have 8 kids" card, lol! I think if there was no show, they probably would have been fine. Well I take that back...they would have def struggled financially! Very sad...and he seemed totally fine with it, he was def the one who wanted out. Blaming it all on Kate being bossy is just his way of making himself feel better about leaving!

  3. Haha... I was contemplating doing a whole post on this too... but feeling like I was crazy wanting to "talk out my feelings" about the whole thing. It's a tv show for goodness sake.
    But it's not- it's someone's life. And even though I don't really know them, it makes me so sad.

    I felt so... depressed after the show last night.
    Here's the kicker- I had a dream about them Saturday night. I dreamt about their "announcement" and that they had played it up as 'oooh, life changes bringing peace for everyone' like people thought they were getting divorced, but really when it came down to it they had announced that they were buckling down, pulling together and figuring this thing out. That they were on the (long) road working through their hurts and differences to healing their marriage; to being a family TOGETHER. In my dream?... I CRIED. I was so happy for them.

    So I couldn't help but hold out hope for that last night. I was silently cheering in my head all evening "come on, prove 'em wrong!"... and I was so so sad when I saw the look on Kate's face and heard her description of the last few days before that taping. I was so hoping they would prove people wrong- that they would really put in the hard work and tears and show that just because it looks like a relationship is doomed, it is possible to love each other again. That you can rebuild something that seems to have gone so far off the course you thought it would be... that you don't have to give up, that you don't have to be a statistic, that you had something worth more than just walking away from it.

    And that's what I feel like Jon's doing... just walking away. Obviously he's not going to walk away from the kids and that family aspect of it (but possibly only because he's got too much accountability built into this deal!!), but he's walking away from Kate and their marriage and it's so disappointing. You're right on about him throwing out all those "it's all about the kids" he throws out there. That was making me so mad. At one point I was yelling at him after he said "I'd do anything for my kids no matter how difficult it'll be"... 'oh yeah, you'd really do ANYTHING?? did you really try here? did you seek counseling for your marriage? have you given it another chance? have you given Kate a chance -now that you've finally after all these years apparently stood up for yourself and found your "voice"- now that you've voiced your unhappiness are you giving yourselves a chance to be happy? did you put any effort into that? because a respectable man would do that for his kids'

    I just felt so bad for Kate sitting there, alone, so obviously not wanting this. Not wanting this all along... wanting Jon to talk to her, wanting to make the changes both of them need to make and figure out where to go from here TOGETHER. And Jon just wants to walk away.

    I understand when a marriage is over when both parties are on the same page- and if it's been long considered together and deduced as really the only happy ending. But when one so clearly wants to try, and one so clearly has just given up and is walking away...
    It's so disheartening.

    I was also hoping through the whole show, because they kept saying "separated" that that meant they would still work on it, that something might still be salvageable, that is wasn't a 'final decision' and that a miracle could still happen.
    When it came on the screen that they had actually filed for divorce, my heart absolutely sank.

    Wow. I need to wrap this up.
    Anyway, I was crying last night. I had to make myself NOT think about J&K when I went to bed last night so I wouldn't drift off all depressed and weepy.

    I'm glad other people took this as seriously and personally as I did! I guess that means at least parts of our society aren't as numb to this stuff as the media makes us out to be.

  4. I am really sad to have it come to this! But it is Jon who wants "out" and I loved the little comment about being sad and excited about the change...what a dork I think he is just walking away. I feel that Kate is a little bossy BUT I think that you almost have to have a structured household or can you imagine what it would be like!! To me this is all Jon and him wanting to be "free" from everything. Good Luck to him I think he might fing out that the grass is not always greener ont he other side, but live and learn. Kate will make it she is strong GO KATE. I had a tear in my eye too when they announcent the filing of the papers...:(

  5. I just told Ryan last night that I remind myself a lot of Kate- so I'm on team Kate too. I am super bossy when it comes to my household and how I want it run- but its no excuse for a husband to go and cheat. Ridiculous! I had tears in my eyes during the whole last half of the show. and I was terrified they were going to announce the divorce to the kids ON the show. Thank GOD they didn't. Anyways, its so cliche, but I really do just feel incredibly bad for the kids. :(

  6. It made me incredibly sad too, especially for the kids. They are going to grow up with the worst memory from the childhood being on film. I wanted to smack Jon with the "excited about the change" you not think about how your children are going to feel when they see that? Last night, it appeared that Kate doesn't want it and Jon is walking away, which makes me heart broken. Neither of them is perfect and marriage is hard work. I believe that when they renewed their vows, they said something along the lines....that this is to show our kids that we will always be togethr. How do you go from making that commitment (and ten tough years together) to throwing in the towel? I am still hoping that somehow things will turn around....

  7. This made me so sad. I watched it this morning on DVR and I too cried. Its not that I'm surprised, it's not that any person is more to blame then the other...I think I'm sad because I'm scared. I'm scared because I thought they were a team....they renewed their vows....every thing seemed okay and then it wasn't. And now its over. It's scary that it could all happen so quickly.

    In hindsight you can say "this had been coming for a long while" but couldn't you say that about anything? I look at my life and I can see a happy ending with my little family and say "it's how it was always meant to be" or I could look at the flip side with dissolving relationships and say "it was coming - the signs were there".

    I don't think I'm making sense.

  8. Thinking about the logistics of single parenthood....with 8 children. I can't imagine how difficult that challenge will be in the future.

  9. I thought of marriage counseling as well. I am surprised they didn't try it. They could have had Dr. Phil come to house and shoot a few episodes.

  10. TEAM KATE!!!

    I also wanted to do a post about last night's episode.

    I can't say I was shocked that they are divorcing. I am really sad though. I think from the past episodes, we've seen it coming. They were really distant towards each other.

    What's up with Jon?! ''I'm only 32 and excited for this new chapter in my life!''... What the hell?? Who says that when talking about divorcing from your wife, and mother of your 8 kids?! I was sooooo upset when he said that.

    Like you said, I don't really understand why they haven't tried marriage counselling. Maybe they have, but never mentionned it?

    I don't think they should blame the show for this. They can decide to stop the show if they think it's affecting their life and family. And I'm pretty sure Jon doesn't want to stop his famous life and the splurging they are both doing. I don't understand how people can point a finger at Kate when saying that she's changed. Like you said, they both have in their own way!

    Anyway... I'm really sad that they are divorcing. I'm sad for Kate, and I'm sad for the kids. You could tell she was genuine and true last night during her interview. As opposed to Mr Jon who doesn't seem to care all that much!

  11. I TOTALLY agree with everything you said! Jon really pissed me off last night! And I also feel really sad that they can't make it work, especially for the kids...

  12. You know I feel ya sista. Jon chose to have 8 children so now he needs to suck it up and be a man. What frustrates me the most is that he has completely shut down and refuses to communicate. Ugh, if I was Kate I would want to punch him in the face!! I have said it before and I will say it again, I would probably be a bitch if I had 8 kids too. Gah, it is just so sad though. I just can't imagine how hard it would be to seperate from a spouse, esp after all they have been through.

  13. I completely agree with you Nic!

    For starters, didn't they just renew their vows not too long ago...? what happened with that? Its all just tossed out the window? And what about Marriage counseling? I never heard one word about that? And why won't jon talk to kate ...? wouldn't it be better to get everything out in the open and clear the air? Like you said, blow off your steam.

    Im sure have 8 kids is stressful enough without having a tv show on top of everything. But it makes me want to slap jon across the face and say "suck it up"

    I definatly think he wants to go and act like he is 22 and get all buck wild and not have a care in the world.

    The more and more I think about it, the more pissed off I get.

    I understand Kate can get bossy and bitchy but Im sure has to with 8, I mean 9 kids in the house. It never seemed like he would help out around the house.

    Good vent post nic, and Im glad I got to vent a little too!

  14. I agree with you 100%.

    Team Kate! I also have no desire to see Jon with the kids in episodes. Hopefully TLC will film mostly Kate with the kids and leave Jon out.

    He has turned out to be such a Childish and Selfish person. And the fact that he won't talk to his wife of 10 years about issues totally pisses me off.

  15. You said it all so perfectly!!! I completely agree :)

    I am truly sad that this is happening :( What about marriage counseling? Did they even try that? But if he did cheat on her...maybe she just doesn't trust him anymore and said that's it!

    But seriously...I'm so sad!!!!