Porter is on my last nerve today. Actually, I'd say he's hopped on that last nerve, took it for a wild 3am spin around the block and ended up in Vegas with a bar full of strippers on crack. He's into EVERYTHING today.
Let me give you a recap (some things have been said, some just thought, some well... thought out loud)
- "Porter, no you can not have hot fudge for breakfast. No gummies either. Or popsicles."
- "Porter, STOP jumping over your brother like a track hurdle! Someone is going to get hurt!!"
- "WHY did you unroll all the toilet paper? It costs money and I don't have money to go through toilet paper as if we've been teepeeing our neighors nightly. If you keep doing this, you're going to have to sell some of your toys to pay for toilet paper."
- "Did you SERIOUSLY dig up the fucking plants I just spent 6 hours planting yesterday? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PLANTS?! JESUS CHRIST of all things holy!!!!!!"
- "Holy shit, is that the tub of butter under the coffee table? Jesus H, he stirred it with a spoon."
- "Porter, don't push your brother so fast in the car! STOP HIM! Don't let him roll away!"
- "STOP! You're dragging his feet on the concrete!"
- Ugh he's running around upstairs instead of napping.
- "Porter, get in bed."
- "Porter, get in BED!"
- "WHAT THE HELL! Why is my face powder all over the bathroom! GET IN BED NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR BUTT!!!"
- Where the hell is Porter.... is he outside? Is he sleeping in his closet? is he under the guest bed? In my closet? FUCK he's in Hudson's room... and Hudson is awake.
- That's it, I'm doing it. I'm taping him in bed. This painter's tape will work, I suppose.
- "Nope, I guess you'll have to pee your bed. If you can't stay in bed yourself, I'll make you stay in bed."