Friday, September 18, 2009

My Girls

That's what Porter calls them. As in... "Mommy, are your Girls coming over?"

I've been looking forward to tomorrow all week. Ryan, the kids and I have plans to go to the Huffs house for a barbecue along with Les, Jane and LeeAnn and their families. (although, LeeAnn has company this weekend and can't make it... sniff sniff!) I love hanging out with these families and we always have such a great time together. The kids get along, the hubbies get along and the wives get along. What more can you ask for?

Today while doing some boring house chores I was thinking about how much I love these girlfriends. My Girls, as Porter would call them. How thankful I am for their friendship, how blessed I am that we've become close. It amazes me how all of this... all of our family get togethers, our scrapbook nights, our playdates with the kids... all stemmed from a monthly scrapbook night in Chelsea. And it slowly evolved from there.... and now here we are, planning annual family camping trips and annual girls weekends and impromptu scrapbook nights and weekend barbecues. I love it.

I sometimes reflect on girlfriends... girl friendships... mom-friendships. I sometimes ponder how some friendships go to the wayside, how some unsuspectingly grow stronger without effort and how some just ebb and flow.

I'm not bragging, but I feel like I have a lot of girlfriends. Lots of friends that are girls, that is. Friends that are moms, some that aren't (but most often are).... friends I'm "acquaintances with", some I used to be close with, some that have always just been cordial. And I have some that are my bestest of best. My Girls.

I often ponder how friendships change once you have kids. When you have kids, your free time is yours no longer. You have to MAKE your free time. You have to carve that time out of your schedule and value it as you value your children. When you're just married, just you and your spouse, its easy to have spouse-time and free-time (whether it be alone or with friends or, well, hell you have lots of time so why not both?!). Once you have kids though, taking that free time often feels like taking a big dose of guilt. Swallowing it down, savoring it, yet regretting it the whole time.

I've realized in mothering I have to prioritize my time, choose what is most important at that moment, on that day. And if there are things that are important to me I have to make time for those things. I feel very lucky that I've been able to combine one of my favorite hobbies into a time spent with girlfriends. Pre-children, my scrapbooking was a solo activity. I had lots of free time to shop and hang out with girlfriends. Now that I have the boys, my free time is spent digging in sandboxes and taking them on walks and playing cars. And sweeping up crumbs from under the kitchen table, and wiping runny noses and dirty hands, and changing dirty diapers and kissing boo boos.

One thing I do make sure I have time for is scrapbooking with My Girls. And unsuspectingly, these girls have become some of my closest friends. I am ever so thankful for them for carving time out of their busy mom-schedules and making time with me, with us, a priority. Its funny how it evolved.... it started with LeeAnn and I getting away once a month to scrapbook in Chelsea. And our group grew, and some came and went and never came back, and new ones joined us occasionally but the core of us seemed to stay. And now we have many impromptu scrapbook nights in my basement, just me and My Girls.

I still have girlfriends outside this "group", of course. I will be honest, I'm not nearly as close to them as I am My Girls. And I'm sure they have their "Girl Group"... maybe they carve time out to shop with them. Or see movies. Or work out. Or whatever their niche is.

The girlfriend relationship is an interesting one to me, yes it is. Its intriguing how they grow unsuspectingly, but ever so welcome. I thank you, My Girls, for your friendship and your time.


  1. Oh....the journey down friendship lane. How this has been SO very intruiging to me, especially over the past year, with some of the friendships I've lost and gained. Friends I thought I'd have for a lifetime and friends that just seemed to fit. I am truly grateful that I have seemed to form a good bond with a core group of girls/moms that I honestly hope lasts a amazes me how easy it is for all of us to just 'click', at least for me it seemed easy.

  2. That's so great that you have "your girls." Although I'm a little jealous, since I don't have any, LOL!! :)

  3. Truly awesome take on girl friendships. Aaaah. The days when girl time was actually just "there." It was not something that felt like a chore or obligation or something that I needed to put on the schedule. Now that I am a mommy and wife, my friends are my family. I have unfortunately let friendships go and have not made them a priority (though I do seem to be making more new ones these days). I think it is so important that our children (especially daughters) see their moms and more than moms too. They seem them as women with value who take time for themselves and their friends. I do a lot of kissing boo-boos (actually I use our Topricinkids pain cream since it is natural, but I love to kiss their ouchies too of course!). So, thank you for this look at friendships and the reminder of how to take time for our friends!

  4. Dude, you know this totally makes me cry!! LOL!
    I love that we all relate to each other on so many levels. Katie has it right, it is soo easy for us to just 'click'. I often wish that we all knew each other and were this close before we all had kids. Then it would've been a lot more easier for us to meet up more often.
    It makes me so happy and grateful to know that I have you as such a great friend, a best friend. I love ya Nic!

  5. You know, you put it exactly right. Now that I am a mom, time with "my girls" does have to be carved out of a very hectic schedule and I just wouldn't do it if these friendships didn't mean the world to me. I feel so very blessed to have found this kind of friendship with all of you.

  6. awww..this post made me cry, too. maybe it's stil the hormones?! hahah.

    i love our girl time together. i am so glad that we have had our friendship all this time. :) it's been a long time, hasn't it?! :)