Thursday, May 27, 2010

Spiraling downward

I am slowly arriving at rock bottom.... maximum overload.... extreme exhaustion.  Its the end of the school year and I really can't complain too much because I don't bring work home and I really don't have a room to pack up (just my little corner..).  But, alas, my to-do list is always never ending and photography has definitely picked up in the past month or two.

I've been putting in over 50 hours a week working (teaching and photography... and that does not include session time on the weekends!), rarely getting to bed before 1am and then getting back up at 6:30am.  The last few days I've been pure exhausted at work (the school work, not photography work).

Today I came home and crashed on the couch.  Ryan came home in a bad mood and pretty much set the mood for the evening.  I was exhausted and cranky (I'm not nice to be around when I'm overly tired.... patience pretty much rides at zero tolerance for me) and he, well, he wasn't picking up on that vibe.  I decided to take the boys to Target and McDonald's to avoid any further bickering with Ryan.  

Then he has the nerve to criticize me for not going to bed at a decent time.  I'm sorry.... I can't just magically add more hours to the day.  I have so much shit on my plate I can barely see straight, let alone keep things straight that needs to get done.  He just doesn't get it.... he goes to work, comes home, helps out with the kids and once they're in bed he parks it on the couch for the evening.  Me... my other job is just beginning at that point.  Sure, I'm on Facebook and I take breaks and browse the internet throughout the evening but for the most part I'm emailing clients, packaging orders, proofing photos, doing bookwork etc etc until midnight/1am.  And then most of the time I make my way upstairs to go to bed and find the kitchen trashed and despise having a messy kitchen for the sitter the next day so I spend 20 minutes cleaning that up.

Ugh.  I'm just so ready for summer.  I'm thinking of getting a sitter for the boys once a week so that I can actually have a "work day" for photography office work (proofing, bookwork, packaging etc).  It would make my life so much easier and I might actually get to head to bed by 10pm if I wished.

On top of all that I'm really wanting to get some Blog Books done... aka uploading my blog to Blurb.com and printing it out into a book (ahhh... more time in front of the computer).  And scrapbooking... I feel like I never have time to scrap.  I'm seriously in need of some girlfriend time, and hoping to fit some in this weekend to scrap.

Then there's my kitchen.... my poor half done kitchen remodel that is going on its 3rd month.  I finally broke down and hired someone to come take the wallpaper down.  It looks ugly now, but I really love not having the dark wallpaper up.  But this is just the beginning of the project... the walls are terrible and need to be mudded and sanded and smoothed out.  And I'm waiting for Ryan to finish rewiring the dining room light and then frame in/drywall the beam so that I can paint.  After that will be counter tops and sink... then tile back splash and finally, a new floor.  I think that's the order.  My goal is to get this done by the end of the summer but at this rate, it won't be done until the end of the year!!

SIGH.  What a whiny post.  I just needed to vent...  I guess I should get back to work... I have 25 DVD slideshows to burn for the kids at school before Tuesday.  And 3 sessions to edit and another sneak peek to put up and another order to place in with my lab and 2 orders to package and get ready to ship.  

Photobucket

4 comments:

  1. oh i SO know how you feel.

    i only work 4 days a week and have fridays at home with the kids, but i am seriously considering asking my MIL if she can watch them one friday a month... i'd be giving up my precious weekday with them but GOD i just need time to clean the house or finish any of the projects that NEVER get done. or even started. i just hate the feeling that i can never catch up, that i will always be behind.

    hang in there! summer will be better, i hope.

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  2. You know I will watch them if you need me too and I dont work the night before

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  3. Here's hoping you find the strength and energy you need to get through this busy time! hang in there!!

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