Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Privileges


After the boys lost all of their toys last week, I found Porter in his room writing on his wall and sheets.  He nonchalantly said “It’ll wash off!” in a sassy little tone.  That was the icing on the cake.  I took away all of his bedding and for 3 days/nights he slept on a bare mattress.  If he can’t treat his things properly, he won’t have them.  He shaped up the rest of the week.  Wednesday he and Hudson played outside ALL day long together.  I was so so proud of them.  They got along so well, and were using their imaginations and being so kind to each other.  They were FRIENDS!  I praised and praised them and told them how proud I was of their behavior.  How proud I was that they were treating each other kindly.  I loved hearing their stories of their backyard adventures and watching them interact and imagine with each other.  Thursday night our neighbor came over with his son, Eian (who is 5) and asked if Porter could sleep over.  I felt torn... I wanted to tell them no to drive the point home to Porter, but it was his first invitation to sleep over and he had made great choices that day and the day prior.  I told him he could go, and while he packed we had a little heart to heart about what a big privilege it was to get to stay at a friends house, and that I expected good behavior from him always.  
Friday morning he got home and had had a great time.  I asked if he was scared at night and he was like “Pssshh... no, mom!”  haha! He’s such a big boy.  Where has time gone?
While we’ve been up north he has NOT earned back the privilege to ride the quads.  I told him the beginning of last week, when he lost his toys, that he would not be riding the quads.  We got up here and he must not have thought I was serious, because he was excited about them.  I reminded him he didn’t get to ride.  I told him that, depending on his behavior, he may get to ride at the end of the vacation.  I want him to realize that his behaviors have consequence and they do carry over to vacation as well. We have explained that to him.   It is difficult to eliminate ALL fun from vacation... he is here with cousins, and I don’t want to make him completely miserable on vacation, but I do want him to know that the consequences for his actions are not transparent because we are away from home.  I think the privilege of riding the quads is good leverage.  The other kids have gotten to ride a few times and he’s sat behind.  His sassing has been better, but not completely gone.  Man, this age is tough!  Well, isn’t every age?  It seems like each age comes with its own trials and hurdles.  One struggle eases up as age changes, but another takes is place or so it seems.  I’m hoping we’ll pass this hurdle with flying colors.  

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