Friday, December 20, 2013

Moments like this

It's so easy to forget the little moments, the quirks and sounds and things your children do.  Until far later something triggers a memory and you suddenly are taken back to that familiar place.

I want to remember every tiny detail.   I know I won't.  I can't.  But I want to so desperately.

I forget how fast Amelia is growing.  I forget, yet I know so clearly as my heart feels so sad that her baby years are gone.  Some days I feel like she's so little, and unable to comprehend things and then other days she does something that makes me stop and stare.

Tonight she dropped her snack cup on the floor and said, calm as day- "Oh shit.  Oh shit."

I bit my tongue but I laughed so hard inside.  I let a chuckle out and thought... she knows so much.

She handed me her cup of milk and I let it drop (because I really wanted to hear her little voice say "oh shit" again... for reals.  I did).   She didn't say it- but she surprised me nonetheless.   A few drops of milk splattered on the black island.  She looked at it, looked at me and then bent over and tried wiping it off with her hand saying "Oh no!"

She stood back straight again, looked at me with a quizzical look on her face.  She looked quickly to her left, to her right, spun around.  Stopped.  Then turned and ran to the stove and grabbed the towel off of it and brought it back and began wiping all up and down the side of the island.

My heart just melted.