If I said I wasn't freaking out about the upcoming move we're making, I'd be lying. I have thrown around "what if's" left and right since the sellers accepted our offer on their house. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm hopeful. But mostly... I'm freaking out.
We've never lived outside of Jackson. We don't HAVE to move to this are. We don't HAVE to leave Jackson. However, we also don't HAVE to stay here either. Our jobs give us the freedom to choose where we want to move to, and that's overwhelming. Exciting, but overwhelming. I almost think it would make it easier if we had a pinpointed spot we NEEDED to stay near. Neither of us loooove Jackson enough to want to stay here forever, but it also makes me nervous that we won't love the area we're moving to either. (you know, that whole "Grass is greener on the other side" saying...)
I'm just so afraid of regretting this move. I'm afraid we aren't going to find a church we love as much as Westwinds. I'm freaking out that we won't like our new neighbors (and we only have 2 options... since there are only 3 houses on the private drive and all 3 of us have acreage so there isn't likely to be anyone else building here). I'm worried we won't make friends in the area that "mesh" with us. Or that we'll hate living a little bit out in the country/rural areas.
I'm also sad... sad that we'll be further away from our friends in Jackson. I'm sad that we're leaving a house that we've spent the past 7 years putting our sweat and heart into. I'm sad that we're leaving neighbors that we absolutely adore. I'm sad that the boys are going to leave the neighbor kids they've grown up with. I'm scared for the boys and their transition to a new school. What if they don't make friends? What if they don't fit in?
I know for the most part I'm overreacting. I know for many people moving to a new town, or even a new state, is nothing. But, moving outside of our comfort zone isn't something we are used to, so this is huge. And scary. And it feels really unnecessary, but it also feels so right. It feels like a chance is in front of us- nothing is holding us here. It feels like we need to be brave. Adventurous. Live a little. Explore and get outside of this little town we've grown up in. Show our kids that we can do brave things, that we can stick together in scary, new situations.
All those things have been running through my head. The fear. The worry. The thought of regret. The excitement. The possibilities.
On Monday we had the inspections done at Apple Creek. Monday could not have come at a better time. I literally had just spewed all those fears to some of my closest friends and then God gave me a nod of approval that I'd been waiting for.
When we got to Apple Creek, the inspector (Ken) came out and said "So, this is my house..." to which we were both kind of confused. Turns out wife who owns the house was Ken's daughters preschool teacher. They liked Ken's house and floorplan, so Ken gave them the blueprints and they had the house built! So, he was super familiar with everything in the house and filled us in on all the pros/cons. The house passed with flying colors. It is a nice, solid house. The only issues are that the gutters need to be cleaned out and there is a leaky tub handle in the master bathroom. Easy peasy. (Way better than the inspections on H House almost exactly 7 years ago! )
As we were leaving we saw the neighbors walking up the road. A girl around the boys' age was riding a bike and a littler boy was on a motorized john deere tractor. Their mom was walking with them. She stopped and said hi and we started chatting. She was really sweet. It turns out they have 4 kids as well- 10 year old twins (boy and girl), a 9 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. AND the other house on the road has a 9 and 6 year old. So incredibly perfect. She seemed really nice, and we chatted about schools and the neighborhood and kids for a few minutes.
When we drove away I just felt so at peace. I feel like I was given a nod of approval that this is the right decision and that everything is going to be okay. It will be a-okay.