Bear with me here. My mind and heart are so full at the moment I feel it may explode. You see, I’ve had an amazing weekend. Again. WORKING. What’s that? Yes. Working. This weekend has been a mixture of Hustle and Heart… digging in and doing hard work and collaborating and brainstorming with amazing women I have the pleasure of working with on a daily basis. And digging in and doing hard emotional stuff that digs down deep to the core of you and leaves you raw and exposed and not the same as you were before.
My job as a Lemon Dropper… our team puts on these amazing FUEL events (Fire Up Everything in Life) and I had only planned on attending the Chicago one. However, when I found out Kelly secured Glennon Melton (THE Momastery writer) for Orlando Fuel, I was in. I booked my flight and I was in.
Glennon was amazing. I mean, how couldn’t she be? She’s amazing. She made me reflect and think and cry and laugh hysterically, sometimes all in the same minute. She said something this weekend, though, that really hit me. She was talking about how we, as women, tend to judge ourselves so harshly. We look at others and we judge ourselves because we aren’t like them, or our lives aren’t like theirs. We see everyones “highlight reel” on social media and feel like we aren’t enough. We start to feel like those that make choices that differs from ours means that they’re doing things better. She told this hilarious story about not having it all together (surprise HAHA!) and feeling like this mom at the mall was feeding her “perfect” child an avocado as a dig at her. She said…. we see these glimpses of things that are different than our journey, and we feel like those people are doing those things “at” us. She said… No one is breastfeeding “AT YOU”. No one is organic eating “AT YOU”. No one is stay at home mom-ing “AT YOU”. No one is vacationing “AT YOU”. No one is dressing perfectly “AT YOU”. We have to stop letting other women and their life choices be a reflection of what we don’t see in the mirror. We have to stop judging ourselves based on their pretty, or their money, or their perfect, or their success, or their talent. And…. we have to stop hating them for it too. We have to be able to see and appreciate the beauty that they possess and the unique beauty that we, too, possess. H.E.L.L.O!
Mothering is hard. We can’t bear the weight of life all alone and spend our lives in competition with others that are not like us. Another thing she was saying was: In carpentry, walls are built on joists. Joists are where two pieces of wood join together to bear the weight of a load above it. When the joist is too weak to bear the weight of the load, the carpenter will put a a board on one side of it. If that isn’t enough, they’ll put another board on the other side of it. Do you know what this is called? SISTERING! Sistering. Seriously. What a perfect word, because isn’t that what our girlfriends do? When life is hard, they come and stand beside you and they help you bear the weight of the load you are too weak to carry. We have to stop being at odds with each other as women and we have to stand together, beside each other, and support each other. Life is so heavy. And messy. And HARD. We are going to need our sisters to survive it.
My word this just about hit me upside the head. And you know what happened this weekend? A lot of sistering. As we had dinner Saturday night, and I ended in tears about how NOT together I felt I was, how crazy life felt for me, how out of control I felt with things…. my girls… they were there beside me, standing there, giving me words of advice and encouragement and supporting me while I was weak. Its so hard to admit I’m weak and broken and imperfect. I’m so blessed to have these girls by my side.
As I leave Orlando and reflect on the amazing relationships I have with these women… these sisters… I realize that this is what its all about. Coming together, working together, supporting each other. SISTERING. My heart is heavy as I give hugs and say goodbyes, knowing that little pieces of my heart are hopping on planes and scattering across the country back to their homes and families. And I, too, will head home to my sweet family that I’ve missed. I know, despite the difference, they are there beside me, sistering when I need them. And I can’t wait to see them again, to hug their necks again. What a blessed life I have.